I remember murdering them long ago
The nature of old, I thought you had been replaced by a brand new soul
But the familiar chill of my pride has returned and settled in, hardened by my stubbornness, as I’m staring at the old nature back in the face.
I’m suddenly aware of their presence and stone cold stares.
Their eyes are dark crystals beckoning my return, causing my flesh crawl
My heart can’t resist the urge any longer, the call of the old nature
Desire set in, a killer decision, a wish for something different
Death is not what I expected, but it’s everything I remember it to be
I’m caught in the storm, tripping over past losses, heavy burdens and addictions
I want to scream above the furious wind, I want to give up again.
I’m helpless to make a sound and I begin to fade into regret
Unable to see through the storm, I’m freezing in the rain, and once again imprisoned by the depression and angst
I can’t see You anymore through this darkness and it’s killing me
Can You hear my cries? Are You close enough to hear my desperate whispering?
Come find me wondering hopelessly through the grave, visiting the tombs of suicide and worry.
Discover my bruised and beaten body covered by dirt and shame.
They have removed my heart to offer their master, who accepts the feast.
The smile he wears is sick and knowing, and I can’t escape
Where is the hand that once reached for me drowning in the sea?
Can You walk among these waves and spot me in this storm?
Pride has encompassed my soul and robbed my peace.
Desire set in, a poisonous venom,
a scheme of the old nature that longs to grasp my soul once again.