For The Ladies

Honestly, what’s up with how girls act these days? A majority of them are all about the life of “women empowerment”, self-sustenance and independence, false lashes, positive thoughts, chai tea and yoga pants. “We don’t need no man to save us” is the motto that usually heart-broken women chant in front of their mirror every morning. Deep down inside they’re still scarred and hurt from the last relationship and don‘t want to admit it because it‘s a sign of weakness, or something. Yoga pants are for people that actually do yoga, hello, not to be used and abused as a runway show for your rear-end to the public. There’s nothing wrong with thinking good thoughts, but try telling that to the girl who has cancer and doesn‘t know which day will be her last. Are you going to tell her to “just be positive and have a Venti“? Are you going to tell a mother who just tragically lost her child to “stay empowered because we’re women”? Give me a break.

My goal isn’t to bash women, and I’m not anyway, but I want you ladies to wake up. Like for real this time. It’s all fine and dandy to be positive and zen, or whatever, but reality says that negative times happen to everybody. You can’t avoid death, you can’t avoid sudden tragedies, and you can’t control whether you even wake up tomorrow or not. A lot of you live in a fantasy cloud of highlighting powder and boys, but, honestly, some of you refuse to figure out what to look for in a genuine man anyway. You’re dating through the alphabet trying to find “the one” but fail to notice that the One who made you loves you more than any imperfect man you could encounter. I’m guilty as charged when it comes to losing my focus on the temporal things, like outward beauty and scrambling to find “the one” to get married before I hit a certain age. Hey, those are pretty important to a lot of girls, and I’m not telling you to ignore your concerns and interests to be a hermit the rest of your life. But if your focus is leaning towards being “independent” and as beautiful as you can be with artificial cosmetics, you’ve totally missed the point of life in general. You’re already beautiful and you can make good decisions. It’s possible to wait for sex before marriage because you realize that you’re more precious and valued than what a lust-driven boy is filling your mind with.

Social media is a huge influence for people, especially women. We have forward-facing cameras, filter options, and heart emojis. There’s relationship updates, Beyonce’s new albums, and spray-on tans. And to the girls who supposedly adopted the vegan diet by choice, let me tell you this: even God Almighty digs the smell of barbecue. So, yeah, you’re missing out on tons of great meal options that involve meat…#JustSaying. It’s important to a lot of girls and women to want to look our best and to want to be in a relationship and want to be married and want friends and long hair and darker skin. There’s nothing wrong with desiring certain things, but how many of us are actually attaining them? Social media will make you believe that, hey, girl, everybody is twerking and having sex and wearing $25 red lipstick, so, you should, too. Meanwhile, remember the Guy I mentioned earlier who legit loves you more than any man on the planet? Yeah, He’s got better things in mind for you. Your body is not for just anybody to use. Your face is not weird or ugly. You’re actually beautiful, girl. The right man will tell you how beautiful you are because of who you are, and not wholly for your looks. Don’t marry because of terms like “hot” or cute, because, as you probably notice everyday, sun spots and wrinkles are actually a thing. Flawless skin fades and lightening-speed metabolism is gone before you know it. You’re beautiful even with imperfections, but the media won’t tell you that. You can be content as a single woman, but the media would rather not talk about that. You know what else they’d rather you not know?

I already told you about the Man who loves you, but, the thing is, He loved you even while you didn’t love Him back. It’s a pure, true, agape love lasts despite what you look like or who you are or where you work. It’s in His nature to love you. In fact, He actually is the source of love, as well as your joy and peace. I like to call Him Jesus, but sometimes I’ll call Him Heavenly Father, or just plain ol’ Dad. He loves me, too. It’s hard to believe some days that God will love me even on bad days. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that He’s still by my side whether I’m married or single or overweight or depressed or happy. God uses this phrase all the time that goes along the lines of, “I love you because I made you.” I can attest to that, girl. He means what He says. I’m telling you the truth that the Twitter feed won’t want you to follow. The media’s like, “if you want to be happy, get with us and do what we do!” like it’s a membership, or something. They’re not happy, and I can tell you that for a fact. If people who said those things were genuinely happy and content with their lives, they wouldn’t always be scrambling for the latest fashions or a new guy or something, anything to fill that empty gaping hole in their heart. Gadgets, people, and new cars come and go. Jesus sticks with you through it all and He actually is a perfect fit for the hole I was just talking about.

I’m telling you all this because I love you. Yeah, I know we might not have met before, but, for me, we don’t have to meet for me to care about you. I care about you very much and I want to see you genuinely joyful. Joy can be everlasting because it comes from an everlasting God. A relationship with Jesus doesn’t mean you won’t cry over a broken heart anymore. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be problem-free and everyday will be a sunny day. It doesn’t mean that Prince Charming will come knocking at your door or that you’ll wake up one day and suddenly fit a size petite. It means that you’ll have Somebody there to be with you through it all, the ups and downs and awkward situations and even perfect moments. It means that His thoughts will become your thoughts and that all the “positive” mantras will go out the window. If you’re feeling like you’ve gone too far or you’ve crossed the boundary lines a long time ago and God wouldn’t want anything to do with you at this point, you’re false. I thought that way, too, and sometimes I still do. Still, despite your doubts, God wants to wrap you in His loving arms if you’ll let Him. He loves you like no other person can or will. His love is unfailing. How many kings have called you princess lately? How many kings will move mountains for you to make sure your eternal life is secure? God, that’s who. All His princesses are amazingly beautiful and perfect. Like you.

If you want to wear that mascara and blush, go for it. If you want to wear a summer dress or cute pumps, don’t let anybody stop you. But while you’re going about your day, think about who you’re living for. Is it for the attention of your friends and random guys? Is it for that perfect angle and lighting to get that perfect selfie? Can you agree with me when I say it’s so tiring keeping up with the image of perfection? If you’re honest, isn’t it so burdensome to constantly put up with an abusive relationship just for the sake of saying you’re in one? Aren’t you ready to be done with it all and just be who you were made to be? There’s a way, girl. He’s THE Way. Go to Jesus as you are. Some people will say that God has already gone halfway to meet you or that He’s waiting for you to come to Him. Here’s the truth: He’s as near to you as the clothes on your back and already knocking at the door of your heart. You don’t have to travel anywhere or present yourself in any sort of way before accepting Jesus into your heart. You don’t have to clean up your act or memorize Bible verses. Trusting Jesus with your life is as simple as ordering your favorite coffee, which, for me, is made sweet and with an extra shot of energy. And, let’s be real, top it with some whipped cream while you‘re at it.

Top your life with Jesus, too. Dandelion flowers grow by turning their face to the light. Who is like Jesus, who is the Light in life? We need water to live, but we all die anyway. Jesus said He provides life-giving water, which means once we have some of it, we won‘t die. Jesus represents the life-giving water. God is faithful and He’ll keep knocking at the door of your restless heart until you answer. He won’t give up on you because love doesn’t quit. It doesn’t decide not to be itself anymore one day, rather it remains faithful and never-changing.

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son, but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?…
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute (poor), or in danger, or threatened with death?…
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:31-39, New Living Translation

***As featured on