Him

He looks at me everyday thinking that I’m enough for him, but, no, it’s not true, I know this
No one listens to me, they only see what they want to see, however, they see right through
There’s a difference between what he wants and what he needs
I eat what he feeds me, and it never seems to satisfy what’s starving
My whole life, all day, all night, I’m keeping quiet hoping someone will hear me
I don’t say much and he doesn’t hear me screaming
I forget the goal sometimes
They come into my life so I can clean them up and move them along the straight path and off my crooked line
I’m struggling on my own, though, with my thoughts and arrows of doubts
I’m looking for answers and I’m hoping he has them stored in his heart
He probably does, he just doesn’t notice what’s wrong in order to apply it
I keep pushing him off like it’s fine and he buys it like it rhymes
It doesn’t make sense to me
How could he want somebody that’s so lonely
We all say we’re okay but never learn how to change
We want the love but we don’t want the pain
Let the pen stay in my hand, I could die any moment
Death will want to know what I lived for
Sometimes I forget the goal
I let fear destroy the truth that I know
I say the same things all the time, they’re just reworded
He looks at me everyday
I clean up nice so he doesn’t see the other side of me
I’m hoping he doesn’t go behind the scenes
You don’t want to know
I don’t smile, I’m so lonely
I’m struggling on my own, though, with thoughts of doubt and arrows that carry no hope
He looks at me everyday thinking that I’m enough for him, but, no, it’s not true, I know this
I said goodbye to the old me a long time ago
No one listens to me, they only see what they want to see, however, they see right through
I cut myself open just to see if I still bleed
When I die, I want to know that I lived for reason
I want to know that I had worth, especially to him

One thought on “Him

  1. LUC M VICTOR says:

    Brooke, I would word it this way: When I transition from this life to the next, I want to know that I had worth, especially to him.

    But Wow!
    I love reading your heartfelt notes/ poems/…. They cause the mind to wander in a way that points it to its final destination…
    Very well,
    Luc

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *